Mar 5, 2013

Relationships: How to keep the fire burning

I am no expert with marriage. My husband and I are still in the learning process. I merely decided to write my thoughts on keeping the love alive kasi as young as we may in this relationship, we also need to know how to stay in-love with each other.

Try to Google the topic and you will receive numerous replies. I did it once and tried to browse and went through some of the articles. Mostly are helpful indeed. Some were written based on experienced and some were openly discussed because of what the society dictates. Good marriages continue to fail almost everyday. It's painful. It's even more scary. It's daunting to see lovers break apart for the simplest to the most horrible reasons ever possible. I don't want to end my marriage ever. I don't want to stray away from my husband. I don't want to see my family fall apart. Because I love them and I will do everything to keep my family intact.

I've written a list that came in no particular order, this works for me. I've recognized some of these tips from the articles I've read before. And I want to share this with you.

Always keep your communication open.
Discuss with your partner your thoughts and opinions. Lalo tayong mga babae, minsan madali tayong magtampo pag hindi nila pinakikinggan yung opinions natin. Actually, may tendency rin kasi na we always want our ideas to stand out or always masunod. Try to talk to him about your feelings and be open minded with his response. Remember, dalawa kayong mag dedecide, hindi lang laging tayo ang dapat masunod. Likewise, hindi rin dapat laging si husband ang may say. Listen to what he says. Kung ok naman pala sayo yung ideas nya and hindi mo lang agad naunawaan, mas maganda di ba? But if you don't totally agree with it or somehow it falls directly outside your norms, compromise might work. Though I believe that compromise is not always good, kasi when you say compromise, it's like a "truce". So parang hindi rin na-resolve yung issue, nagtagpo lang kayo in the middle to put a stop so both can move on for that particular moment. Siguro after nyong mag compromise, still try to sort things out para mas maganda yung acceptance and para mas malinaw yung mga bagay bagay at hindi lang puro "let's meet halfway".

Don't sleep with your issues.
And don't ever sleep outside your bedroom. Kami ni R, we always make sure that whenever we have an argument, we settle it before the sun sets. Or at least before we eat dinner. Lucky lang rin siguro talaga kami sa isa't isa kasi pareho kaming hate yung mala-"sabayang pagbikas" na yan. When we have tampuhan, a simple hug or I love you is more than enough to stop the madness and settle everything.

Say I love you everyday and always mean it.
This actually applies to all our loved ones. Life isn't that long to hold a grudge for somebody. And for couples, it's a reminder to your partner what brought you into that marriage and your pledge to each other, "til death do us part". Bhe, I love you from the bottom of my heart. 

Husbands, cherish your wives. And wives, let's respect our husbands.
Bilang mga babae, natural na satin na maging attention seeker. Not to the extent naman na sobrang papansin. Gusto lang natin maramdaman lagi how much we are loved and appreciated. And let us not forget din to respect our husbands. Lalo infront of our kids. Don't argue with Dad while they are watching kasi they might end up doing the same when Dad is trying to discipline them.

Go out on dates.
Once a week or every two weeks date night is a must. Eto na lang kasi yung time ng mag asawa alone especially if you have kids already. Maintain the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship ika nga sabi ni Ms. Nova Cruz of The Family Woman. You can check out her blog here. Keep the "kilig" alive. Di ba nga nung mag boyfriend girlfriend pa lang tayo, iba yung kilig level kahit cloud 9 lang ang binigay satin ni jowaers? Tapos tinatago pa natin yung mga candy or chocolate wrappers. Aminin! :) Mas maganda rin na pag nag de-date tayo, i-reminisce rin natin yung moment na yun, ewan ko lang kung hindi kayo parehong kiligin. :)

Give each other "ME" time.
Hindi naman ibig sabihin na may problema kayo pag humingi kayo sa isa't isa ng "ALONE" time. We need this from time to time for us to grow as individual. And we need this to breathe from all the busyness and stress of being a partner and a parent. Allow your husband to go out with his friends and give him time to enjoy. Hindi yung, pinayagan mo nga pero maya't maya mo naman tawagan. Hehe. And for ourselves, we can call all our girlfriends and go shopping or watch a movie or have a sip of coffee over chismis and kwentos. Having a time alone doesn't mean you make a bad partner or parent.

And last but not the least, keep GOD the center of your relationship.
The family that prays together, stays together and forever. BOW! :)

Hindi po ako buntis, mataba lang po talaga ako dyan. Hehe.
That's my mom carrying Baby Aerin.


  1. Wow naman, at namention ako... salamat sis =) "Amen" ako sa lahat ng pointers mo sis, lalo na yung putting God at the center. I love reading marriage articles and reflections as well lalo na from personal experiences.

    Add ko rin dyan sa the family prays together ay, "the family that laughs together, stays stronger together." =)

    1. I agree, sis. :) Dapat talaga hindi rin mawala ang humor sa family. Kelangan meron rin kulitan from time to time. :)

  2. we have something in common dear.. ung we settle any argument before we go to bed. mas masarap kasing matulog ng maluwag ang loob mo at walang dalahin na ano man.. maswerte ka actually maswerte tayo dahil sa pagkakaalam ko iilan lang mga guys na kagaya ng mga asawa natin.. hehe..

    I love your thoughts about relationship... Tama!! Keep God onto the center of your relationship.. anytime anywhere.. you can never go wrong pag kasama nyo sya!!



    visiting you via activeblo

    1. Thanks, Joan!

      Major accomplishment ko actually sa relationship namin ni hubby yung maibalik ko yung faith nya kay God. He doesn't go to church regularly before we became a couple. And he never questioned me when I strictly imposed it in our household. So, every Sunday is a family day with Him. :) And I strongly believe that it has a major effect on our relationship.

  3. Agree in all things esp in putting God in the center of our lives. Kahit saang relationship yun talaga dapat. Keep the love burning dear. =)

    1. Thanks, Irene! :) Yes, we need Him to guide us in all our relationships. :)


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